The importance of dress
Question: What do you call those prostitutes who dress up in police uniforms, nurses uniforms and school uniforms?
Answer: Police women, Nurses and Schoolgirls
A man walks into a bar. He sees a good looking, smartly dressed woman perched on a bar stool. He walks up behind her and says: "Hi there good looking, how's it going?"
She turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eye and says: "Listen, I'll screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, your place, my place, it doesn't matter. I've been doing it ever since I got out of college. I just flat out love it." He says: "No kidding?, I'm a lawyer too! What firm are you with?"
The Wonder Machine
Once a great scientist invents a machine and claims that it can tell everything about everybody, when asked. Nobody believes him. So,he holds a press conference, where anybody can ask any question from the machine.
In the press conference, many people ask the machine different questions and the machine answers them correctly. The news spreads like a wild fire and finally reaches the ears of President of U.S.A. He calls the scientist to Pentagon and asks him to bring his machine with his machine. All the officials of Pentagon are present in the meeting to ask questions from the machine.It answers all of them correctly.
Finally,the President asks one question "What is my father doing at present?". The machine falls silent for few minutes and after that, answers "Your father is fishing in Arabian Sea.".The President starts laughing and after five minutes,when he stops laughing,says "Your machine is of no use scientist. It was a trick question. My father died 4 years ago.".
The scientist apologizes and asks President to reframe the question so that the machine could understand the question better. So the President asks "What is my mother's husband doing at present?". After some time, the machine replies "Your mother's husband died 4 years ago but your father is still fishing in Arabian Sea".
Rate badh to nahi rahe
Ek Khan sahab roz GB road ke rates pata kar ke jaate ke randi ki keemat kitni badh rahi hai,
Ek dost ne poocha to Khan sahab bole: Mein check karta hoon ke bivi mehngi to nahi pad rahi hai!