Once Gajodhar bhaiya was sitting in a bar mouthing off because he knows everybody. So his buddy bets Rs. 100 that the next person to walk in the bar didn't know him.
Somebody walks in the bar and says "Hi! Gajodhar bhaiya! How are you?" So the guy then bets him Rs. 1000 saying he doesn't know the first person they see outside walking down the street.
When they go outside and see some one coming up to the bar as soon the person came near them he says "Hey Gajodhar Bhai! How are bhabhi and kids?". Flustered the guy bets him Rs. 5000 he doesn't know the President. So they drive up to the President and the security guard says "Gajodhar bhaiya! you know you can't just show up here like this." Just then the president came out in his car and he rolls down the window and says "Hey Gajodhar! how have you been?"
So Finally the guy bets him Rs. 10000 and says he doesn't know the Pope in Goa. So they take a plane down to Goa and he says" Ok now watch up there on that balcony I'm gonna come out there with the Pope." So he goes up there and looks down to see his friend pass out.
He goes down there and says "Are you that surprised that I know the Pope?" he goes "No somebody walked behind me and said who's that guy up there with Gajodhar Bhaiya!"
Ek Madrassi Ki Nayi Nayi Shadi Hui, Aur Vo Biwi Ko Leke Honeymoon Manane Train Mein Ja Raha Thha.
Train Mein Sath Wali Seat Par Ek Angrej Bhi Betha Thha. Madrasi Ke Dimag Mein Aya Ki Agar Main Apni Biwi Ka *** Is Se Karwa Lu To Bachha Gora Paida Hoga.
Madrassi Ne Angrej Se Puchha: “Kya Tum Meri Biwi Ke Sath *** Karoge?” Angrej Ne Khush Ho Ke Kaha: “Jarur, Kyu Nahi”
Angrej Ne Ek Baar *** Kar Liya Par Madrassi Ne Sochha Ek Baar Aur Karva Leta Hu, Angrej Ne Phir Se Uski Biwi Ke Sath *** Kia, Madrassi Ne Sochha Ek Baar Aur Ho Jaye Toh Pakka Ho Jayga
Madraasii Ne Angrej Se Kaha: “Ek Baar Aur Kar Lo”
Angrej: “Nahhi, Ab Nai Kar Sakta”
Angrej Muskurate Hue: “Kyunki Mere Pass Sirf 2 Hi Condoms Thhe“
Mother in Law to Daughter in law: "Listen I don't mean to offend you but my grandson doesn't look like my son at all!!"
Daughter in Law to Mother in Law: "Ma, sorry but I have a oven between my legs and not a photocopy machine."
ek gaon me bijli ane wali thi..
waha ke sabhi log khush the..
bijli ane ki khushi se log jhum jhum ke nach rahe the.
wahi ek kutta bhi jhum-2 ke nach raha the..
gaon ke ek admi ne kute se puchha - are bhai tu kyo nach raha hai?
kutta bola - bijli ayegi to khambe bhi to lagenge..
Sardar k 12 bachon mein 1 alag dikhta tha:
Jab uski biwi marnay wali thi to Sardar ne poocha: Ab to bata do ye kis ka hai?
Sardarni: Sardarji, sirf yehi aapka hai.
Waiter gives bill to Sardar
Sardar: "Take my card."
Waiter: "But sir, this is Ration Card."
SARDAR:- Yar iska matlab kya hota hai, "I AM GOING"?
FRIEND:- Main jaa raha hun.
SARDAR:- Saaley, aise kaise jayega, 20 aur bhi aise ja chuke hain....answer bata ke jaa..
PRINCIPAL: Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.
MUNNA BHAI: Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu
MUNNA BHAI: Circuit, bole toh yeh Ford kya hai?
CIRCUIT: Bhai, gaadi hai.
MUNNA BHAI: Toh phir, yeh Oxford kya hai?
CIRCUIT: Bole toh, simple hai bhai, Ox mane Bel, Ford mane gaadi. Oxford bole toh Belgaadi.
MAMU: Oye, mar gayay yaar. Meri biwi aur premika saath saath aa rehla hai.
MAMU KA DOST: Arrey, mein bhi yehi bolnewala tha.
MUNNA BHAI: Mamu, apun bachpan mein dus maley ke building se gir gaya tha.
MAMU: Aarey, phir kya hua. Bach gaya ki tapak gaya?
MUNNA BHAI: Yaad nehin hai yaar. Bahut purane baat hai.
CIRCUIT: Aye Mamu, tereko papad aur jhapad mein pharak pata hai kya?
CIRCUIT: To kha ke dekh le, pata chal jayega.
PROFESSOR: Akal badi ki bhais?
MUNNA BHAI: Bole toh pehlay date of birth bata mamu.
One day the African chief's wife gave birth to a white child and the chief was absolutely stunned. He suspected some hanky panky and went to the white Jesuit missionary father and looked at him suspiciously.
"You have been fucking my wives," he accused the white father, who looked very uncomfortable. The Jesuit, tried to wriggle out of the difficult situation by trying to explain Mendel's laws of genetics to the wrathful black.
"You see that herd of sheep," he said pointing to the chief's herd, "Most of them are white; but you will also notice 2 black lambs among them."
"OK! OK!" said the chief. "You keep your mouth shut and so will I."
Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.
Q - What is the difference between Mother & Wife?
A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying & the other ensures U Continue to do so.