Read Hot Jokes on Husband and Wife

Suhagrat K Din Pati Ne Patni Ko 2500 Rs Muh Dhekhai Diya

Patni Ne Paise Dekh Ke Kaha - Itne Paise! Kitne Aadmi Hai?

A woman awoke excitedly on Valentine's Day and announced enthusiastically to her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day! What do you think it means?"

With certainty in his voice, the man said, "You'll know tonight."

That evening the man came home with a small package and handed it to his wife.

With anxious anticipation the woman quickly opened the package and find a book entitled - "The Meaning of Dreams".

Wife : aapko bus me logo ne kyu mara?

Husband : Are mera photo bus me niche gir gaya aur maine kaha madam jara sari upper kijiye photo lena hai..

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?

Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.

Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful am I for you?

Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"

Wife: Honey: What are You Looking for in that paper ?

Husband : Nothing.

Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ??

Husband : I was just looking for the expiry date.

A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me my pretty face or my sexy body?"

He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humour".

Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?

Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife".

Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her?"

Millionaire: "Billionaire".

newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"

"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE".

A newlywed bride and groom had been busy at "it" for three days straight.

The groom arose early and was reading the paper, thinking it was time to do something else. When his bride woke up, he said, "Honey would you like to see Oliver Twist?"

His bride replied, "You show me one more trick with that thing and I'm going home to mother!"

A woman woke her husband in the middle of the night.

There's a burglar downstairs eating the cake I made this morning.

Who shall I call? her husband said, Police or ambulance?

3 Possible Reasons When A Man Opens A Car Door For Wife

1) The Car Is New.

2) The Wife Is New.

3) (Most Imp) She Is Not His Wife.



A couple from Earth has finally saved up enough money to take a vacation on Mars (they could do that then). So they go to mars and meet a martian couple and start talking about they way they do things and come to the subject of sex. They decide to switch partners for the night to see what happens.

The human woman and the man martian go into a room and the martian strips but his thing is the size of a pencil (whoa), and the woman says, "um, how is this going to work?" The martian man replies "Oh, not big enough? Okay then."

All of a sudden he starts slapping his forehead and his thing grows longer. "Um, that's good but isn't it still a little thin?

"No problem" the martian man replies.

Then he starts pulling his ears and it grows wider. The woman is amazed by this and they have wonderful sex.

The next day they meet and the human man asks his wife how it was and she said "Oh my, it was wonderful! How was your night?"

The man replied, "It was awful!!

The martian woman kept slapping my forehead and puling my ears!"

A couple just got married and on the night of their honeymoon before passionate love, the wife tells the husband, "Please be gentile, I'm still a virgin." The husband being shocked, replied, "How's this possible? You've been married three times before." The wife responds, "Well, my first husband was a gynecologist and all he wanted to do was look at it. My second husband was a psychiatrist and all he wanted to do was talk about it. Finally, my third husband was a stamp collector and all he wanted to do was...oh, do I miss him!"

The friends of the bride decided to give the newlyweds a tape recording of the couple making love on their honeymoon night as a gag wedding gift. They accomplished this by hiding a tape recording under the newlywed's bed that evening.

Before they gave the recorded tape to her, they played the tape and heard her moaning to her new husband, "That's happiness! That's happiness!" But her voice sounded funny and they discovered that they were playing the tape at the wrong speed.

When they slowed the tape down to the correct pitch, they were surprised to hear her shouting at him, "That's a pen??! That's a pen??!"

This story occurred on Melbourne radio last week. One of the FM stations has a competition where they ring someone up, ask them three personal questions, ring their spouse or partner, ask them the same three questions, if the answers are the same, the couple win an overseas holiday. Last week the competition went like this:

Presenter: Hey its XXX-FM, do you want to play the game?

Brian: Yeah, sure.

Presenter: O.K., Question 1 - When was the last time you had sex?

Brian: Ha Ha, well, about 8 o'clock this morning.

Presenter: And how long did it go for Brian?

Brian: Hmmmmm .... about 10 minutes.

Presenter:10 minutes? Good one. And where did you do it?

Brian: Ohhhh , I can't say that.

Presenter: There's a holiday to Bali at stake here Brian!

Brian: O.K. ... O.K. ... On the kitchen table.

Presenter:(and others in the room - much laughter). Good one Brian, now is it O.K. for us to call your wife?

Brian: Yeah, alright.

Presenter: Hi Sharelle, how are you?

Sharelle: Hi. Good thanks.

Presenter: (Explains competition again) We've got Brian on the other line, say hello.

Sharelle: Hi Brian.

Brian: Hi Sharelle.

Presenter: Now Sharelle, we're going to ask you the same three questions we asked Brian and if you give the same answers, you win a trip for two to Bali.

Brian: Just tell the truth Honey.

Sharelle: O.K.

Presenter: Sharelle, when was the last time you had sex?

Sharelle: Oohhhh, noooooo. I can't say that on radio.

Brian: Sharelle, it doesn't matter. I've already told them.

Sharelle: O.K. ... About 8:00 this morning before Brian went to work.

Presenter: Good, nice start! Next question. How long did it go for Sharelle?

Sharelle: (giggling) About 12, maybe 15 minutes.

Co-Presenter: That's close enough ... Brian was just being a gentleman.

Presenter: O.K. Sharelle, final question. Where did you do it?

Sharelle: Oh no I can't say that. My mum could be listening. No way, no.

Presenter: There's a trip to Bali on the line here.

Brian: Sharelle, I've already told them so it doesn't matter anyway.. just tell em.

Sharelle: Ohhhh .... alright .... Up the as???...!

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