Teacher asks little Jonny: What is the opposite of laughing?
The student says: sex!
The teacher: How can you say that?
Jonny : Laughing is ha ha ha.. Sex is ah ah ah !!!
Ladki usually Sex Karny Ke Baad Kya Kahti Hai?
I Love You?
Wrong!
That Was Great?
Wrong Again!
I Love It?
Aray Nahi Yaar.
Sahi Jawab: "Suno Meri Bra aur Panty Kahan rakhi hai."
Ladki aur chai mein hamesha 6 qualities honi chahiye:
Garam ho,
Tez ho,
Meethi ho,
Doodh jyada ho,
5 minute mein taiyyar ho aur
Raat bhar sone na de.
A Girl to her Teacher - Ye Pyar kya Hota Hai?
Teacher - Jab Tum Barri ho kar Achhi Bachi Banogi to Tumhein 1 pyar karne wala milega.
Girl - Agar Achhi na Bani to?
Teacher - To Bahot Sare Milenge.
Bhagwan ko gussa kab aata hai?
Jab kisi ladki ka rape hone ke baad uski ma bolti hai, "Hey Bhagwan ye tune kya kiya."
A gril to her mom: Mom, I just found out that the boy next door has a p***s like a peanut.
Mommy: U mean it's small?
The Girl: No, it tastes salty.
Teacher class mein Pillu se: Jimmedari kya hoti hai?
Pillu : Madam agar apke blouse ke 4 button me se 3 tut jaye to 4th pe jo aati hai, usko jimmedari kehte hai.
Pillu ka result aaya, wo ghar pahuncha, Bap ne puchha - "Tumhara result kya raha bete?"
Pillu - "Principal sahab ka beta fail ho gaya"
Bap - "achha!, aur tum?"
Pillu - "Collector sahab ka beta bhi fail ho gaya"
Bap - "Achha achha! lekin tum kya hue?"
Pillu - "Doctor sahab ka beta bhi fail ho gaya"
Bap khisiyate hue - "Abe tu kya hua, paas ya fail?"
Pillu - "Ab papa, mujhe daant kyon rahe ho, main koun sa Pradhan Mantri ka beta hoon!"
Son, "Mummy mummy... Mujhe ek bhai chahiye!"
Mummy, "Tumhare papa abhi Dubai gaye hue hain.. Woh waapis aaye phir sochenge!"
Son, "Kyun na aap papa ko surprise hi de do?"
Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.
Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents".
Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.
One day the teacher came to class with a rose placed in her cleavage.
She asked, "Can anyone tell me what roses drink? How about you, Johnny ?"
"Milk!" answered Little Johnny.
"No, I'm sorry. That's the wrong answer. Roses drink water," explained the teacher.<
"Wow!" Johnny exclaimed. "I didn't know the stem was that long!"
Tarzan had been living alone in his jungle kingdom for 30 years with only apes for company, and suitably shaped holes in trees to enjoy the S??.
Jane, a reporter, came to Africa in search of this legendary figure. Deep in the wilds she came to a clearing and discovered Tarzan vigorously thrusting into a jungle oak. She watched in awe for awhile.
Finally, overcome by this display of animal passion Jane came out into the open and offered herself to him.
As she reclined on the wild grass Tarzan ran up to her and gave her a big kick in the cro???.
In pain she screamed 'What the hell did you do that for!?' Tarzan replied, 'Always check for squirrels.'
The word of the day is "LEGS", let's go back to my place and spread the word.
Let's name your legs. The right one is Thanksgiving and the left one is Christmas. Can I come between the holidays?
A blonde is standing in front of a soda machine outside a local store. After putting in sixty cents, a root beer pops out of the machine.
She set it on the ground, puts sixty more cents into the machine, and pushes another button. Suddenly, a coke comes out the machine!
She continues to do this until a man waiting to use the machine becomes impatient. "Excuse me, can I get my soda and then you can go back to whatever you are doing?"
The blonde turns around and says, "No chance! I'm not giving up this machine while I'm winning!"
10% of the women had sex within the first hour of their first date.
20% of the men had sex in a non-traditional place.
36% of the women favour nudity.
45% of the women prefer dark men with blue eyes.
46% of the women experienced anal sex.
70% of the women prefer sex in the morning.
80% of the men have never experienced homosexual relations.
90% of the women would like to have sex in the forest.
99% of the women have never experienced sex in the office.
Conclusion:
Statistically speaking, you have a better chance of having anal sex in the morning with a strange woman in the forest than to have sex in the office at the end of the day.
Moral:
Do not stay late in the office. Nothing good will ever come of it!
A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful pet dachshund along for company. One day, the dachshund starts chasing butterflies and before long the dachshund discovers that he is lost.
So, wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having him for lunch. The dachshund thinks, "OK, I'm in deep trouble now!" Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dachshund exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here." Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-stride, as a look of terror comes over him, and slinks away into the trees. "Whew," says the leopard. "That was close. That dachshund nearly had me." Meanwhile, a monkey, who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes.
But the dachshund saw him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figured that something must be up.
The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine." Now the dachshund sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and thinks, "What am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet ... and, just when they get close enough to hear, the dachshund says..................
"Where's that darn monkey? Sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard."
At New York's Kennedy airport today an individual, later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a square, a slide rule, and a calculator.
The Attorney General believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He is being charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.
"Al-gebra is a very fearsome cult, indeed", the Attorney General said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on a tangent in a search of absolute value. They consist of quite shadowy figures, with names like "x" and "y", and, although they are frequently referred to as "unknowns", we know they really belong to a common denominator and are part of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.
"As the great Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are three sides to every triangle." When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."
A man meets a lady at a bar and says: Hi, what's your name?
She replies: Carman, coz I like cars & I like men, what's urs?
Man: Beer cunt!
Most interesting line written
on the front of T-shirt of a girl,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Excuse me !
My face is above.;-)
Let me kiss ur lips,
let me feel ur teeth,
let me feel ur tongue.
SMILE!
This is ur friend
"PEPSODENT"
reminding you to brush ur teeth,
Twice a day Everyday :)
Girl:It's 2 tight
Boy:Don't worry,I'll do it slowly,
Gal:Push it in,
Boy:Ah..I can't,
Gal:It's painful,
Boy:Forget it.
.
.
.
.
We'll buy new WEDDING RING!
Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher:
"can kids of our age have kids?"
Teacher replied " NO Never!!"
Boy said to girl :
"see i told you not to worry!!!!".
A beautiful girl goes to Professor cabin
and
say
that i will do anything to pass in the exams
and professor says
NOW OPEN YOUR
.
.
.
.
.
.
Books And Study
URSE kept SARDAR'S FINGER in HER MOUTH
after BLOOD TEST.
THEN SARDAR STARTED DANCING .
NURSE:y r u DANCING.
SARDAR:next is URINE TEST
He came at night,
explored my body,
got on top of me,
touched me, he bit,
sucked, swalowd,
when he was satisfyed,
he left, i was hurt,
.
.
.
BLOODY. MOSQUITO !!!!
I really deeply wish dat
u r here with me in my room.
on my bed & lights is off &
we get under the cover together..
2 show u my glow in the dark watch.
2 men went 2 a callgirl.
1st went in and came out n said
"Na my wife is better."
2nd went in and came out n said
"U R right ur wife is much better."
Catch her by her waist.
Bring her home..
Keep ur hand on her neck
Put ur lips on her lips
& have a .
.nice drink.PEPSI
3 FEELINGS
what is the diference b/w stress,tension & panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
tension is when girlfriend is pregnant &
panic is when both r pregnant
Fair & lovely ke ad ma face dikhaya
Ponds ke ad ma hath dikhaya
Pentene ke ad ma baal dikhaye
Phir always ke ad ma cheating kyun?
In a party a lady wanted
to go to toilet so
she inquired with a sardar
papaji susu karne ki jagah dikhao,
sardarji replied u naughty
pehle tum dikhao.