Q - What is the difference between Mother & Wife?
A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying & the other ensures U Continue to do so.
Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.
One day the African chief's wife gave birth to a white child and the chief was absolutely stunned. He suspected some hanky panky and went to the white Jesuit missionary father and looked at him suspiciously.
"You have been fucking my wives," he accused the white father, who looked very uncomfortable. The Jesuit, tried to wriggle out of the difficult situation by trying to explain Mendel's laws of genetics to the wrathful black.
"You see that herd of sheep," he said pointing to the chief's herd, "Most of them are white; but you will also notice 2 black lambs among them."
"OK! OK!" said the chief. "You keep your mouth shut and so will I."
PROFESSOR:
Akal badi ki bhais?
MUNNA BHAI:
Bole toh pehlay date of birth bata mamu.
CIRCUIT:
Aye Mamu, tereko papad aur jhapad mein pharak pata hai kya?
MAMU:
Nehin.
CIRCUIT:
To kha ke dekh le, pata chal jayega.
MUNNA BHAI:
Mamu, apun bachpan mein dus maley ke building se gir gaya tha.
MAMU:
Aarey, phir kya hua. Bach gaya ki tapak gaya?
MUNNA BHAI:
Yaad nehin hai yaar. Bahut purane baat hai.
MAMU:
Oye, mar gayay yaar. Meri biwi aur premika saath saath aa rehla hai.
MAMU KA DOST:
Arrey, mein bhi yehi bolnewala tha.
MUNNA BHAI:
Circuit, bole toh yeh Ford kya hai?
CIRCUIT:
Bhai, gaadi hai.
MUNNA BHAI:
Toh phir, yeh Oxford kya hai?
CIRCUIT:
Bole toh, simple hai bhai, Ox mane Bel, Ford mane gaadi. Oxford bole toh Belgaadi.
PRINCIPAL:
Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.
MUNNA BHAI:
Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu